What’s in a Name? I chose Grace.
I hated my birth name. When someone would call my name, I felt small and unimportant. At 30 I bravely changed my first name and felt more empowered. However, it was not done legally so some accounts had my new name and others my birth name. Confusion reigned and my life lacked clarity and congruence.
I meditated and sought guidance. My inner knowing told me that until I chose my own name, I would feel trapped. Still, I waited almost thirty years, allowing all the logistics and the potential judgment I might endure to feel insurmountable. I wasn’t sure what my true name that would resonate with my heart and soul might be. I had to create and become the me I wanted to be, for the name to be revealed. It took a long time!
Finally, in 2018, I legally changed my name, all of it! Many people might feel that is a strange thing to do at my age. I knew it would entail changing my social security account, bank account, drivers license, passport and every form of identification I had in the world. Still, I knew it was the right decision for me, and long overdue. I filled out the paperwork, paid the fee, and waited for my court date. On the appointed day, I stood in the courtroom to answer the judge’s questions The judge instructed, “State your new name and why you have chosen it.”
I took a breath, stood a little taller and proudly shared with the judge and everyone in the courtroom,” My name is Samarah Grace Daniels. Samarah combines three syllables Sa as in Sat Nam meaning holy or divine; Ma for Mother; and Rah from the Egyptian for light. Thus, for me Samarah is “Light of the Divine Mother.”
My last name I took from the Bible story of Daniel in the Lion’s Den. I wanted a strong masculine name that represents profound faith and immense courage in the face of danger.
For my middle name, I chose Grace. I believe that when I fully embrace the feminine qualities of vision, nurturance, inclusion, and community and pair them with the masculine qualities of strength, courage and conscious action, there can be an alchemy that allows for and creates grace.
Samarah Grace Daniels is who I am and how I choose to live.”
The judge paused for a moment, nodded and then banged his gavel. At that moment, my name and my life became congruent. I could feel my old identity dissolving and the true me, the one that felt proud of my name, emerging. What I believe and who I choose to be in this life are now imbedded in my chosen name. I love hearing my name and each time I am reminded of my long and winding journey to wholeness.
Another gift that makes me smile occurs when someone asks if Samarah is my given name; I answer, “Yes, I gave it to myself!”
Grace may show up in different ways in each life. For me, grace is that touch from the divine that can remind us that we are not alone, and that Spirit is with us.
Did choosing “grace” for my middle name help me find or feel more grace in my life?
The answer is YES! I feel at peace and happy with each part of my name and what it stands for. My name reflects me and the path I have chosen.